automated BS

ok...i put this off long enough. gotta blog about it. for the past week my home phone rings faithfully every morning. when i answer, it's an automated message from a darlene daniels informing me that her office has made numerous attempts to contact an adult at my number. in a pissed off tone, she's demanding a call back. she doesn't give any specifics, like her company name or the purpose for her early morning call. she says the law won't permit her to say more. but a call back is mandatory. she does, however, recognize that she could have the wrong number so she uses that as support for why it's so important for someone to call her back at the 888 number she gives so freely. she ends it by saying this is not a sales call.

for one...who is this chick? it's really hilarious, yet highly annoying, that she expects me to answer my phone early in the morning and get her taped voice in my eardrums. what's even more comical...after realizing that it's not really her waking me up, but her voice-clone, i'm supposed to, not hang up but, stay on the phone, listen to her seriously vague and extended pre-recorded message, write her number down (that's if i had a pen in hand, i'm still waking up, remember), and dial her undisclosed company's digits from my phone - all on MY time. she has got to be kidding me. let me get this right. ms. darlene daniels couldn't find it in her heart to take the time to personally dial my number, speak to me in her LIVE voice, and get all the answers she's so desperately seeking to retrieve. yet, she expects me to take the time to reach out to her. lol. she even tries to lure me in with, "this is not a sales call." honestly, i'm not that curious. i wouldn't care if she was calling to give me a millions dollars or if there's a warrant out for my arrest. i'm not about to call her, she gave me nothing. it would be nice to tell her the truth, though. maybe i should send a pre-recorded message of my voice tailored just for her and her company. it would go something like this. "i just got this phone number a week ago. i don't know who you're trying to contact. please never call and wake me up again. ever in life. seriously. thanks for your cooperation."

my thirsty friend darlene isn't the only one struggling to make contact. walgreens has been on that bandwagon too. their automated message tells me my prescription is ready. threatening to ship it back if i don't pick it up. even though they provided their company name and location, i'd still love to tell them something too. "what prescription, walgreens? i don't need medicine."

ah, the joys of a new home phone number.

wouldn't these businesses accomplish more with a live person on the line? this way they can more effectively gather knowledge from their directed target, instead of sending these "seek and intimidate" automated messages to resting beauties like myself, who have absolutely nothing to do with their workflow. they'll never accomplish their goal waiting on me to call and set them straight. if only they knew that a live representative should've been on the line when i answered my phone. then they would be in-the-know instead of rocking the land of the unknown. ultimately, they're wasting a lot of time and bothering innocent monthly phone-payers.

this whole idea of pre-recorded voice messages that automatically dial your number on a cycle bothers me. it rubs me the wrong way, just like unlimited amount of automated services that's wiping out good clean and wholesome customer service. these robot-machine voices love to prompt you, too, with their, "press 1 for this, 2 for that, 3 for kiss my ass, and if your dumb ass forgot what i told ya press the * key." yada, yada, and more yada's. it's definitely pushing the same load of crap. you call a company to discuss an account and end up taking notes from a machine that can't hear you. i especially love the ones that want you to talk to them, they tell you to use your voice (like they got ears) instead of pushing buttons. when you attempt to use english, the machine-voice lady says, "i'm sorry, i couldn't understand you. would you please repeat that." i'm thinking, of course, you can't understand me, you're not human. i'm forced to repeat myself (i usually dedicate this time to say, BITCH get me a representative) until finally she transfers me to a live person. which is all i wanted in the first place. who has time to listen to this alien talk? what happened to the good old days when you called up a place of business and got a live person right away. you knew when you hung up, you were on the same page as the representative. no surprises later. like, "what do you mean you never received that $150 payment i made over the phone, last week?". that shot-out goes to sprint.

is this the day and age we live in? live voices are becoming extinct? i bet the people who were not around to experience the telephone, wouldn't have guessed in a million years that people would take such a wonderful invention for granted. just imagine, having to wait on that man with a horse to ride your letter over the river and thru the woods, only for your recipient to receive your message months later. seems drawn out, doesn't it? now we have phones everywhere and can speak and be heard immediately, yet dread taking the time out to communicate with our fellow man or woman. there are way too many voice-clones seeking feedback and machine-lady voices asking for push button and vocal responses. where's the human connection?