my prototype

i used to love a man. then i realized that it was never love. i idolized him. he was my prototype. he made my heart ache. i sat back patiently waiting. debating if i should just leave it alone. leave him alone and clear my mental home. yet he possessed me. he could do no wrong. i'd call he'd answer only when it was convienient. i used to stay anxious feigning for his voice to end the ringing. panting like an animal thirsty for love. lonely with the feathers of a dove winking. i was content with my demented thinking. emotionally done. remained positive that he was the one. heart burned like fire whenever his name slipped off the base my tongue. sprung like tulips in june i was doomed to an eternal hunger. i assumed he had to feel the same. had feel my pain, yearn for my name and the fire that burns deep within me. desire me, as he was the light that used to cleanse me - he went dim and became the very dream that woke me. broke me free. free from the disease that had me twisted in his sick melody. kisses draped in infinity. i spent years bathing within his invisible passion expressed by a fine mist. i now exist alone without his tongue with a twist. dissed by the object of my affection. reflecting on how i missed my chance to dance with his intoxicating presence. didn't grab him when he desired my essence. i was distracted by other men. looking for greener grass. moments have passed and introspection has taught me to mourn and move on. i was the next one to survive the loveless storm.